I seened it!

I saw Bilbo Baggins riding on the back of a dragon holding a flagon of butterbeer
His hair was blowing in the wind and his butt was chaffing on his chain mail underwear
The dragon twisted and Bilbo slipped into the air, dropping like a sack of dragon droppings
He landed on a flock of sparrows and managed to manoeuvre them to a narrow rock outcropping
And he stood there blocking the sun, rocking back and forth, until he calmed down
Then he began to climb down the cliff and at the bottom started heading North
He had a cold so he sniffed and caught a whiff of rotten old dead possum so he turned East
Where the rising sun blinded him and he started to scream, “I can’t see a thing!”
So a group of robbers came, knocked him to the ground, emptied out his pockets and took his ring
Without his vision or his bling, Bilbo had failed his mission of returning home rich
But then he was approached by a witch with a twitch who said she’d grant him one wish
He said, “I wish that poet hadn’t seen any of this.”