More Old Stuff

Alice called her daughter little miss muffet. She even had a special pillow she sat her on, because that’s what she thought at tuffet was. For some reason little miss muffet and dr. seuss’ work were intertwined in Alice’s memory, so every morning she prepared her child’s breakfast singing: “little miss muffet sat on her tuffet eating green eggs and ham.” While she sang Alice poured green into the eggs as she scrambled them.
The name on the birth certificate of Alice’s daughter was not little miss muffet. The certificate read:
Last name: Nulark
First name(s): Jude
Jude’s father had chosen Alice’s daughter’s name. She was not pleased with the decision. He was not pleased with her displeasure. This mutual displeasure eventually led to the removal of Sam from Jude and Alice’s lives. So Alice was the sole caregiver and she called her daughter little miss muffet.
Alice never learnt cooking at school. She never learnt from her mother either. Or her father. To tell the truth eggs were one of the few things she knew how to prepare. As a result of this lack of education Alice turned Jude green.
Alice made her daughter breakfast every day, singing her tune. She used green colouring no.7, the label of which suggested only a few drops would be necessary per serving. The morning after Sam left Alice followed the instructions on the bottle but she was quite disappointed with the result. Experimentation over the next weeks eventually provided an answer to Alice’s problem: half a bottle would turn the eggs sufficiently green.
The mother and daughter enjoyed their first few months without a man around the house. Alice was independent for the first time in her life, and little miss muffet was being well looked after.
On morning Alice went into her daughter’s room to wake her up. She usually woke little miss muffet by opening the curtains and singing her breakfast rhyme. On this day she shook Jude by the shoulder. As soon as her daughter’s eyes opened Alice asked, “Are you okay, do you feel sick?”
“Of course I’m okay mummy,” and a smile were little miss muffet’s reply.
Alice decided her daughter must just need an extra big breakfast and left the room singing.
The next day Jude was even more green but still said she was “just fine mummy”.
After a week Alice got worried. She took little miss muffet to the doctor. The result: “There’s nothing wrong with you little miss Jude.”
And so life continued, little miss muffet getting greener every day, Alice singing her song (the next line of which was: “one fish two fish red fish blue fish“, luckily red roughy and blue cod don’t involve food colouring). Who knows what Sam was doing.